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Ol Abner

Prose for the Baseball Fan.

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jake burger

Jake Burger hits a home run to kingdom come, and other observations

Posted by olabner on May 30, 2017May 30, 2017 in College, Missouri State

I know that home run talk is like fishing tales, and I’ve got a thesis full of those. Still, last Friday afternoon I sat in the front row by the visitors dugout at Hammons Field. A fan behind me asked if…

aaron meyer

Aaron Meyer, a senior

Posted by olabner on April 25, 2017April 5, 2020 in College, Grief, Missouri State

He cracks the ball and races down the basepath, lunging to avoid the Missouri pitcher’s tag. And he falls to the ground. I don’t know him, Aaron Meyer, but I can imagine that as a child he wrapped rubber bands around his…

play at third: a photo essay

Posted by olabner on April 13, 2017May 30, 2017 in College, Missouri State, Photos

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Talking baseball with Doris Kearns Goodwin!

Posted by olabner on April 12, 2017May 30, 2017 in Fan, Research

I’m working on an MA in nonfiction writing. In 2015, I wrote a research paper concerning happiness levels among Boston Red Sox fans after their beloved team finally won a World Series. The Hedonic Treadmill principle, essentially, maintains that humans adapt to…

A draft king and the lure of Alaska

Posted by olabner on June 13, 2016April 2, 2017 in College

I settled into my middle seat, next to a guy holding a catchers mitt in his hands and watching the wheels spin on other planes. But then he placed the mitt on his lap and turned his phone toward me,…

Seriously, Marlon Byrd.

Posted by olabner on June 2, 2016June 2, 2016 in Ethics, Rules

After the news of Marlon Byrd’s suspension for 162 games for PED use (again), I simply could not summon the words. Because I already have. If you missed it the first time, find my rendition of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He…

“Go to your room, Brad Ausmus”

Posted by olabner on May 17, 2016 in AL, Rules

It so happened that a man didn’t like what another man said. So the first man took off his shirt and threw it on the ground. But he didn’t throw it on any pile of dirt: it was a more…

Before He Cheats (PEDs)

Posted by olabner on January 11, 2016April 27, 2017 in Ethics, Videos

Check it out! A second video, this one inspired by steroid use AND Carrie Underwood’s hit tale of revenge! Share it! Text: Right now, he’s probably buying some high-dollar ‘roids Outlawed by the M-L-B Right now, he’s probably taking pills…

Pete Rose: if I were you.

Posted by olabner on December 14, 2015December 14, 2015 in Ethics

Oh Pete Rose: Who can say whether I’d gamble on my own games if I could. I know I shouldn’t. I might do it anyway. Maybe I’d resign myself to sitting in a folding chair behind a conference table, signing…

Losing Control: a Pitcher on a Phone.

Posted by olabner on October 2, 2015April 27, 2017 in NL, St. Louis Cardinals

Somewhere on the screen of a smartphone, Charlie Morton began to lose control. Pittsburgh had to win, or face the the wild card playoff. Hell. In this case, a collection of baby bears. They haven’t grown up or they’d lose…

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