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Ol Abner

Prose for the Baseball Fan.

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Anatomy of a Rain Delay

Posted by olabner on April 20, 2016April 27, 2017 in Chicago Cubs, NL, St. Louis Cardinals

Cards lead Cubs 4-1. Mid-afternoon. Withhold belief. Two losses. Irritable. Rain begins to fall. During delay, watch clip of Randal Grichuk reaching over fence, retrieve home run. Replay. Ask God why some players don’t wear high socks. Unexplainable. Rain continues…

Imitation Bonds

Posted by olabner on April 14, 2016April 27, 2017 in NL, St. Louis Cardinals

I remember this – Once Shawon Dunston hit a ball that bounced off Barry Bonds’ glove and fell into the basket of the outfield wall, landing like leaves in flower boxes hooked along the edges of a porch railing somewhere…

Lou

Posted by olabner on April 12, 2016April 27, 2017 in St. Louis Cardinals

I don’t know if everyone in the stadium realized that the man walking toward the pitchers mound had lost his leg. He was once of the most prominent runners in baseball, a prolific base stealer who nabbed 938 in his…

A Winkler in Time

Posted by olabner on April 11, 2016April 27, 2017 in NL, St. Louis Cardinals

A pitcher unleashed a ball toward the plate. But the ball swept off-target. The batter stood there with his bat on his shoulder. He winced. The catcher stabbed at the air with his glove. The ball hit the backstop with…

A Step Behind

Posted by olabner on April 6, 2016April 27, 2017 in NL, St. Louis Cardinals

Stephen Piscotty hit a line drive – and Mike Matheny stared at the third base coach, spitting until dirt mixed into mud. It’s only the second inning – a fan whispers that St. Louis has dropped the first two games…

The Inner Cespedes

Posted by olabner on March 25, 2016April 2, 2017 in NL

NY Mets outfielder Yoenis Cespedes gave up an inside-the-park home run when he saw the fly ball was lodged under the outfield wall and figured it was a ground rule double. He could’ve picked it up, but he didn’t, and…

7 Years/Lukas Graham (Baseball Version)

Posted by olabner on March 18, 2016June 27, 2016 in Videos

I’ve returned with a new video. Check out the original song here. Text: Once I was 7 years old My brother told me Root for St Louis or you’ll be sorry Once I was 7 years old It was a…

Half the Fan I Used to Be

Posted by olabner on February 12, 2016June 27, 2016 in Videos

Check it out: on balancing grad school and baseball, and inspired by the Stone Temple Pilots. Here’s the latest video from Ol’ Abner Text: Paper due today Makes me wanna pray Grad school stress is real Makes me wanna heal…

Just Curious: questions I’d ask baseball players

Posted by olabner on February 2, 2016April 27, 2017 in Research

Today reporters ask football players questions in preparation for the Super Bowl. Here are some of the dumbest questions ever. Pitchers and catchers report in about two weeks, so let’s switch sports. What would I ask a baseball player? Well:…

On the case (against the DH)

Posted by olabner on January 26, 2016April 27, 2017 in Rules

An ardent fan might find it disreputable that a skinny fellow in a suit might decide to allow one of his own to take a bat. Neither he nor the batter has any business standing at a plate. But the…

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