Today reporters ask football players questions in preparation for the Super Bowl. Here are some of the dumbest questions ever.
Pitchers and catchers report in about two weeks, so let’s switch sports.
What would I ask a baseball player?
Well:
Seriously, how do you stay focused on fastballs curling toward your hands when it’s 102 degrees in August?
Due to the diuretic effect of caffeine, do you avoid it entirely?
What if you binged on season three of Downton Abbey, didn’t sleep, and arrived at the ballpark “wrecked” and in the starting lineup? What do you take to concentrate?
Have you tried Adderall? Other prescription drugs?
What if you haven’t hit for two weeks and you might get sent down if you don’t play well today?
Would you use PEDs and risk a 50-game suspension because your enhanced numbers might help you get a new contract?
If you’re called upon to be a pinch hitter and you’ve been daydreaming all game, how do you focus on the pitch variety that you should’ve tracked for the past five innings?
How do you fake it? Can your teammates tell? Do your teammates confront you, and what’s your line if they do?
Do you still like playing baseball, or do you play because you don’t know what else to do?
You’re a relief pitcher and the other team is rallying. Would you rather continue to sip Gatorade while wearing a towel on your head, or throw strikes in front of 50,000 people? Be honest.
Do you ever think about retirement? Do you have a 401(k)?
How do you deal with fans calling your mother names? What if you don’t like your mother?
How much would you charge for your own baseball card?
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