After the news of Marlon Byrd’s suspension for 162 games for PED use (again), I simply could not summon the words.
Because I already have.
If you missed it the first time, find my rendition of Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats.”
Text below.
Right now, he’s probably buying some high-dollar ‘roids
Outlawed by the M-L-B
Right now, he’s probably taking pills from a sun-kissed doc
And he’s gotta think it’s risky
Right now, he’s probably thinking that he’ll never keep playing
Any other way
But he should know …
That Bonds and Clemens were the best in the game
But they won’t get to join the Hall of Fame
Maybe someone should think before he cheats
Right now, he’s probably thinking Peralta only got 50 games
And a brand new contract.
Right now, he’s watching A-Rod and he can’t believe he got caught
Right now, he’s not thinking about the Hall of Fame, anyway
Cos he couldn’t say
Their fans watched the home run race to the wire.
But the Hall didn’t want either Sosa or McGwire.
Maybe someone should think before he cheats
New ballplayers might not want to take the risk
Of a 20-year-career marked by an asterix
Cos now nobody can say
I didn’t know better, I thought I could see
A few more strikeouts and fewer injuries
Someone should have told me to quit the P-E-D-s
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